BRAVE THE CHANGE

Last night driving home with one of my best pals, blaring American Boy on the AUX loud enough to make sure we couldn’t hear the weird rattling noise the car was making, I found a photo from about a year ago and was asked: “Do you feel anything looking at that now?”.

“Nothing”

“Oh that’s good then”.

The photo in question was from probably what I thought at the time to be one of the best times of my life so far, little did I know then it was the opposite. When everything that was encapsulated in this photo eventually came to an end, I was forced to look at what I thought should make me happy vs what actually did. It was thinking this through that meant the past year has done a complete one-eighty and been the happiest year of my life. It’s absolutely crazy to think about how much can change in one year, and how much of a different person you can be when certain influences, big or small, are extracted from your day-to-day. It’s also crazy to look back at a time when you thought nothing could possibly feel worse, and to realise you’re completely fine, just like everyone said you would be. Its easy to scare yourself into thinking change is a bad thing.

Its not.

UNIVERSITY: THINGS NOT TO WORRY ABOUT

If there was a degree titled BA (Hons) Worry About Everything Possible, it would have been created for, tried, tested and completed with an Upper First Class Honours by me. Years and years of worrying about the little things had meant that deciding to go to uni for me was some scary shit indeed, and although I was so excited to start such a cool new chapter in my life, this excitement didn’t come without a double-decker bus-sized load of anxiety and apprehension. Having now made it out of my first year alive and comfortably being able to say that going forward into my second I feel only complete eagerness to go back (worries a thing of the past), I’m here to tell you that all the things your brain is saying are a scary big deal really aren’t. Even if you’re one of the lucky ones who might only get a little nervous from time to time but aren’t generally phased by big changes, I guarantee the thought of moving away from home to live with people you’ve never met and study at such a high level make you feel at least a little bit uneasy. Regardless of which end of the spectrum you find yourself on, I’d imagine you’ve been told countless times ‘everyone’s in the same boat’ and ‘you’re only nervous because it’s all new to you’. The truth is that the reason we’re told this over and over by our parents, teachers, friends, older siblings etc etc is because it’s true. Nothing you’re worried about will be as bad as you think. They say university years are the best years of your life and after only one of them I can vouch for that, as i’m sure the majority of students do. I can’t comprehend that if I’d have never made this huge jump I would never have met the amazing people i’m now lucky enough to know and I wouldn’t have spent nearly every day laughing and making hilarious and weird memories. I also would never have had nearly as much opportunity to come out after just 9 or 10 months a million times more confident and outgoing than I ever was throughout school. Although uni obviously isn’t for everyone, and sometimes it doesn’t always work out as planned; squash the worries, go into it all guns blazing and with an open mind, and I promise you’ll have a bloody amazing time.

DON'T THINK JUST DO

The problem with being able to talk for England but having about four friends including your mum and dog is that sometimes you find yourself pondering life, mind moving at about a million miles per hour, with lack of outlet to pour those (probably uninteresting) thoughts into. Combine that with a person who should probably register their phone and laptop officially as extra limbs because they never leave their side, and you find me. Combine all that with being a media student and wanting to try and make a go of something along the lines of a social media presence and you have a blog. It’s quite scary shit but let’s give it a go, if all else fails it’ll look alright on my CV.